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In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big
disappointment–and post-holiday blues, says Susan Wisdom, a
licensed professional counselor and co-author of
“Stepcoupling.”

As a stepmom, I know about expectations. Every year, just
before the holidays, I start thinking about how to recreate
Christmas Eve at my grandmother’s house. In her big
two-story home, my family and I crowded into her dining room
and kitchen with about two dozen relatives. We munched on
turkey, cranberries and dressing, then topped off the meal
with my grandma’s home-made cookies. With my 14 siblings and
cousins, I played board games while my dad and uncles
stomped around on the roof, yelling “Santa’s coming!” much
to our delight.

With these memories, it’s easy to begin the holidays with
huge expectations about what I want for my stepfamily. And
it’s easy to end the holidays with some sadness over how
difficult it was to re-create the magic of my childhood.

“There are so many expectations and the hype is so big,”
says Wisdom. “It can be a real setup. In reality, Christmas
is not perfect in traditional families. There’s a lot of
stress.”

If your family is like ours, you may spend a lot of time
negotiating with ex-spouses over who gets which kids–and
when– during the holidays. And if you family is like ours,
you may be disappointed when kids announce they’ve already
decorated two Christmas trees at their step-relatives’ and
refuse to do one more. Or they may arrive at your house
exhausted from their “first” Christmas at the “other” house
and may prefer napping to opening gifts.

In addition, a stepchild may reject a stepparent, Wisdom
says. Adults may drink too much and behave in ways they
later regret. A child’s biological parent may complain that
a stepparent has more money to spend on gifts, creating
tension between a child’s two homes.

As Shauna Haley, a stepmom in Portland, Oregon, says, “The
holidays this year were such a painful reminder of our
stepfamily situationand how little influence I have on my
stepdaughter’s life.” Her stepdaughter lives in another
state, and only visited for a few days after Christmas this
year. Haley had big dreams over how she would spend those
few days with her stepdaughter, then was crushed when her
dreams weren’t realized and her stepdaughter was homesick.

To help stepfamilies cope with such disappointment, Wisdom
recommends that parents begin by doing some “patch up work”
after the holiday season. Talk to your spouse, ex-spouse and
children about the issues that came up during the holidays.

“Reach out to your own children and each other’s children.
Understand what they were dealing with. Forgive them for
fights or bad attitudes or moments of sibling rivalry that
happen during the holidays under stress,” Wisdom says.
“Stepcouples need to be available to each other and to the
children more than ever. This can be a hard time. Make
amends, make apologies.”

If parents find it difficult to talk with ex-spouses, this
may be a good time to go to counseling with ex-spouses about
the many issues that come up during the holidays, she says.

After trying to discuss the holidays with everyone involved,
parents in stepfamilies should examine their expectations
and consider toning them down next year. Wisdom recommends:

• Keep it simple. Don’t stress out. Perfectionism is not the
  goal. Peace and serenity are more important!
• Don’t over-commit. Your kids need you–not the 25 gifts
  you don’t have time to wrap. Don’t overload on activities,
  food and drink.
• Plan ahead. Talk with your spouse about how you want to
  celebrate next year. Talk with your children’s other
  biological parents about how to share holidays with your
  children.
• Coordinate with ex-spouses over gift giving.
• Keep old traditions and establish new ones.
• Be flexible and cultivate a sense of humor. Laugh about
  the time your dog lapped up the spilled pudding!

In an effort to follow the above advice, I try to joke
about the fact that my 16-year-old prefers his stepmom’s
cooking during the holidays. “She bakes pies and lets me eat
milk products,” he likes to tell me, with a smile in his
eyes. Rather than donning an apron and gorging my son with
sweets and allergy-producing foods, I remind him of the time
my holiday squash cannon-balled out of the oven! That memory
always makes us laugh, which is indeed a great antidote to
the post-holiday blues.

Writer Lisa Cohn is co-author of “One Family, Two Family,
New Family: Stories and Advice For Stepfamilies,” which is a
2004 Gold National Parenting Publications Award winner. For
more information, visit her at http://www.stepfamilyadvice.com.

The method know as 3d ultrasound scanning is that can be used when a woman is in early pregnancy, it provides 3d images of the unborn baby. Most times these ultrasound images are captured and joined together to produce a 4d ultrasound scan.

Three dimensional scanning works similarly to the usual scanning methods except that the ultrasound pulses are sent from many directions. The waves are redirected back then captured to provide info to construct a 3-dimensional image in in the same way as 3d movies. 3 dimesional ultrasound was devised in the usa.

It’s important to understand that sonologists all over the world have always pictured three-dimensional images of anatomy or pathology in their minds while carrying out 2d scans. However, until recently it was impossible to do this type of reconstruction on on info using ultasound scanning. With the advent of ultrasound baby scans for the first time allowed us a peek into the mechanics of thinking of a sonologist and so allowing us see the images on the ultrasound machine.

4d ultrasound imaging should utilize ultrasound energy following the same limits as conventional 2d ultrasound to create the 3d images. There is no data to suggest any harm due to 3d ultasound scanning, its use in non-medical situations should be undertaken with the understanding of the risks.

* A baby is born every seven seconds.

* Babies are born with very poor vision but can recognize their mothers almost right away.

* Babies are always born with blue eyes, within a few moments of delivery their eye color can change.

* Babies are born with swimming abilities and can naturally hold their breath. However, they shortly lose this instinct.

* Newborns usually double their weight by six months.

* Playing classical music will increase a babys intelligence.

* Reading to your child at ANY age will increase their knowledge.

* Babies and toddlers are, pound for pound, stronger than oxen. This is especially true of their legs.

* Babies are born without kneecaps.

The human body is a fascinating study to subject. You may be surprised by the following facts.

* Women blink twice as many times as men do.

* Eyes are the most active muscles in the whole body.

* There are about 550 hairs in the eyebrow.

* The life span of a tastebud is 10 days.

* Humans have almost 10,000 taste buds.

* The colder the room you sleep in, the more likely that you will have a bad dream.

* The human body is better suited for two four-hour sleep cycles than one eight-hour one.

* The jawbone is the hardest bone in the human body.

* Its impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

* You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world…. talk about a lot of celebrating.

* The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan.

Allli Ross is the webmaster at the Baby Names Box - Where you can explore over 6,000 baby names and their meanings.
Sub-categories include Disney ,J.R. Tolkien names, Fantasy and Folklore names, and many names from the literary classics. Read articles ranging from parenting and family to home and gardening. Be sure to say hi to GranMamma!

Finding a safe place for your child to play can be very hard sometimes. Slides, swings and jungle gyms are a dream come true for most children, but can be a nightmare for parents when they come home with black eyes, bumps, bruises and broken limbs.

Whether you are looking for a play set for home or looking at a public playground, make sure it is age appropriate. If you are looking for equipment to use at home; look for something that is adjustable as your child grows. For your toddlers, look for something that is no higher than six feet at its topmost point. The play platforms should be no higher than four feet from the ground and have guardrails. They should also be easy to get down from. The playground slide should be no more than a 30 degree incline. It should also be at least twenty two inches deep. If the slide is more than four feet high, then it should have raised sides.

Make sure the play equipment is safe. When you are looking for a play system, look for a system that says the manufacturer followed the guidelines of the American Society for the Testing of Materials or of the Consumer Product Safety Commission. The equipment should be sturdy in construction. Make sure it is correctly assembled, follow the instructions exactly and make sure it is firmly anchored in concrete. The concrete should be covered in earth or a soft padding. The play system should be set at least six feet from fences or walls.

You should avoid swings with S-like hooks; these can pop out easily with vigorous swinging. The climbing rope should be anchored at both ends. The swings should be a bucket type, of soft shock absorbing materials. To prevent head injuries the swings should be twenty four inches apart and thirty inches form the support posts. All of the rings and other openings should be designed to prevent head entrapment. All of the metal should be painted or treated to avoid rusting. If there is any wood, it should also be treated to prevent rotting. The treatment used should be with shellac paint because some wood treatment is made with arsenic-based material.

The playground equipment should be in good repair and checked regularly for broken or missing parts. If you are at a park and see it in a poor condition, you should report it to the local parks department. You should avoid the playground until it is fixed.

The surfaces under the playground should be soft. Remove all rocks and tree roots. You can either put down play sand, wood chips, sawdust, bark or other shock absorbing material. Do not rely on your grassy yard because it still could be dangerous, even fatal. Injuries are possible on this surface even if the fall is from a foot above. The shock absorbing material should extend six feet from the play area.

Make sure that your toddler isn’t wearing a cape, floppy sleeves, flowing clothes or any other clothing that can be entangled in the equipment. This can cause a strangulation hazard. Any play equipment is only as safe the supervision a child playing on it gets.

Michael Russell Your Independent Baby and Toddler guide.